How to Stop Overthinking: A Guide to Stop Your Brain From Spiraling
Ever found yourself lying awake at 3 AM, replaying every word from a conversation you had earlier in the day? Alternatively, maybe you’ve spent hours agonizing over an email before hitting send? Perhaps you’ve felt paralyzed by even the smallest of decisions because you’re afraid you’re going to make the wrong one.
Congratulations – you’ve experienced the “joy” of overthinking.
You’re wondering how do I stop overthinking? it’s completely and utterly exhausting to have your brain feeling like it’s running on a hamster wheel with no way to get off. You wish you knew how to stop overthinking, but anxiety and overthinking have been a part of you for as long as you can remember.
Why Do I Overthink Everything?
It’s really easy to think that overthinking is purely about control, a way to manage your anxiety. If you can think of every imaginable outcome, then you can prevent the worst thing from happening. Sounds logical, right?
However, have you ever stopped to think about what you are actually protecting yourself from?
The unfortunate truth about overthinking is that it has probably helped you survive and maintain love, connection, and relationships. Instead, it became a way to protect you from emotions and experiences that were too big and too painful to hold.
Understanding the roots of overthinking:
- If criticism was common in your childhood… overthinking became a way to avoid making mistakes
- If shame followed self-expression… overthinking kept you from being “too much”
- If love felt conditional or transactional… overthinking helped you shift and mold into what others wanted
Ultimately, your overthinking helped you avoid the gut-wrenching feelings of shame, disappointment, fear of not being good enough, and fears of rejection.
OUCH. Of course your brain would want to protect you from those feelings.
Here’s the thing – overthinking and anxiety are best buddies. They feed each other in an exhausting cycle. Anxiety triggers overthinking, which increases anxiety, which leads to more overthinking… you get the picture.
You’re actually stuck in a shame spiral
Your brain does the best it can to protect you and keeps you stuck in the loops of overthinking. If you can analyze, assess, and think through every outcome, then you will never mess up and you can avoid feeling shame.
Shame tells you that making a mistake makes you unworthy. Moreover, shame tells you that saying the wrong thing will make you unlovable. Additionally, shame tells you that not being perfect is not safe.
Continuing to think, analyze, and assess keeps you stuck in this awful loop. What will help you get unstuck is to take a look at why you feel ashamed of being wrong, exposed, or not good enough… the fear of truly being seen.
This fear of being seen isn’t actually about others seeing you or judging you. Instead, people have been TAUGHT to stay in a shame cycle to avoid all the feelings that come along with being human.
What are the effects of overthinking?
You already know that when you overthink, you end up imagining every possible outcome (usually the worst ones). This mental habit is closely linked to anxiety and worry, creating what feels like a tornado in your brain.
But how do those fears of painful emotions show up for you?
Common overthinking patterns include:
- Paralysis – avoiding decisions because you fear failure
- Replaying – obsessing over conversations looking for “what you did wrong”
- Indecisiveness – needing others’ opinions because you’ve never learned to trust yourself
- Seeking Control – planning every detail so you can avoid embarrassment or rejection
5 tips to How Stop Overthinking and Stop Your Brain From Spinning
Enough about the problem – let’s talk solutions. Here are some basic and some less conventional ways to quiet your overactive brain and learn how to stop overthinking.
1. Recognize the Pattern
The first step to breaking any habit is awareness. When you catch yourself in an overthinking spiral, simply name it: “I’m overthinking again.” This small act creates distance between you and your thoughts.
2. Question Your Thoughts
Not everything you think is true (shocking, I know). When your mind creates the worst-case scenario, ask:
- What evidence do I have to support this?
- Is this thought helpful or making me feel worse?
- What advice would I give a friend thinking this same thought?
3. Get Physical
Your body and mind are connected. Physical activity – even just a 10-minute walk – can interrupt the overthinking cycle and reduce anxiety symptoms. The change in environment plus movement works wonders.
4. The “Future Self” Perspective Shift
When caught in an overthinking loop about a current situation, ask: “Will this matter in 5 hours? 5 days? 5 years?” For most of the things that keep you stuck, the answer is no. Really ask yourself what is worthwhile of your mental energy.
5. Compassionate Self-Talk for Shame
When you find yourself overthinking, try these specific phrases:
- “My brain is trying to protect me, even if it’s overdoing it”
- “Having an active mind is part of being human”
- “What would I say to someone I love who is overthinking everything?”
Should I Go to Therapy to Stop Overthinking?
Self-help books, podcasts, and even Instagram stories can offer some great tools. However, when those tools don’t feel like enough, support from a therapist can make all the difference. Consider reaching out to a therapist if:
- Overthinking significantly interferes with your daily life
- Your worry feels uncontrollable most days
- You’re experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety (racing heart, trouble breathing, sleep issues)
- You’ve tried multiple strategies without relief
- Your overthinking negatively impacts your self-esteem and relationships
AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) is an incredibly helpful framework to help you move past the “think it through” mindset. Furthermore, it’s a way to help you connect to your core and learn to trust your instincts and emotions. It’s amazing how free, calm, and centered you can feel when you allow yourself to be human and everything that comes with it.
The Bottom Line on Overthinking
Your brain is powerful and has done a really good job protecting and taking care of you.
However, the thing that once protected you (overthinking) is no longer serving you. In fact, it’s getting in the way of feeling happy, connected, and safe. With awareness, practice, and therapy, you can change this pattern to learn to feel safe having emotions, opinions, and even making mistakes.
Remember: The stories that have run your entire life about having opinions, having a voice, or having emotions are not true. Additionally, you are NOT too much. Similarly, you are NOT a burden. Most importantly, you deserve to be seen, heard, noticed, and loved.
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What strategies have helped you manage overthinking? Share in the comments below.
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